November 17, 2021

How to have Difficult Conversations with Ease ft. Debra Roberts

How to have Difficult Conversations with Ease ft. Debra Roberts

“Communication shapes our relationships. And if we all knew how to be a little kinder, how to resolve conflicts quickly, and deal with people with whom we disagree in a better way, I think there would be a lot more open communication and less stress all around.” - Debra Roberts

\Welcome to Brave and Boss with Kristi Soomer. Communication expert, Debra Roberts joins us to talk all about relationships and communication and how to get the right message across in your business and your personal life. 

Debra Roberts, LCSW, helps savvy business people navigate important conversations. She is an author, conversation expert, public speaker, and developer of The Relationship Protocol communication model. Her proprietary and practical approach to communication revolutionizes how we work together. It is at the core of The Communication Protocol, an online professional development program for teams. She is a columnist for Inc.com, has written for Business Insider, and has been featured as an expert on multiple media platforms, including The New York Times. Visit www.therelationshipprotocol.com.

 

 

[00:01] What Business School Doesn’t Teach You About HR

 

[05:19] How to Have Healthy Communication in all Your Relationships

  • Debra tells us about herself
  • Through decades of experience, Debra created a communication model
  • A Relationship Protocol Communication Model
    • Commitment
    • Shifting your thinking to being more relational
  • Four steps on how to have conversations
    • Initiate a conversation
    • Kindness
    • Owning your part so you can start diffusing a conflict
    • Lending the benefit of the doubt

 

[11:16] Having Uncomfortable Conversations

  • How to approach a conversation in which you have to give feedback to someone who missed the mark while honoring the work and effort that they put into what they created for you
    • Always start in that circumstance with the positives: Appreciate what they gave in the scenario
    • Then give your feedback and follow it up by providing them guidance on how to get the result you’re looking for
  • Having the right tone over email
    • Never read into an email with a hostile tone
    • Always take some time before your response
    • Give the person the benefit of the doubt
    • Overcommunicate and express the tone you want to convey

 

[18:58] How to Strengthen Team Relationships Through Communication

  • Tips for harmonious work relationships and adapting your communication styles
    • Acknowledging your lack of knowledge
    • Be curious and interested in what everybody has to say
    • Be an active listener
  • How to build your confidence to go into having these tricky conversations ‘
    • The best way to start a conversation is to state your intentions upfront
      • What do you want to accomplish?
      • What are the takeaways that you want them to have?
      • And what's the purpose or intention of the conversation?

 

[24:01]  Customer Conversations

  • How to handle heated customer interactions
    • Turning towards: Let your customer know you hear them, value them, and are handling their complaint
    • Customer service no-no’s
      • Do not turn away from the situation, such as avoid or ignore your customer
      • Don’t make them feel that their problems are invalid

[27:34]  Tools for Managing Conversations or Communicating Better

  • Calmness and mediation apps
    • Tools that remind you to come back to center
    • Calm

 

[29:11] Closing Up

 

Key Quotes:

“So much of who we're communicating with, we don't always know them that well. And so they make assumptions about what we mean and walk around with those assumptions… And so it’s important that we be clear in our communication.”  - Debra Roberts

“The best way to start a conversation is to state your intentions upfront. What do you want to accomplish? What are the takeaways that you want them to have? And what's the purpose of the conversation?” - Debra Roberts

 

Resources Mentioned

Connect with Debra

Website: Therelationshipprotocol.com 

Instagram: @therelationshipprotocol

LinkedIn: Debra Roberts

Facebook: The Relationship Protocol

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